CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS
MY HEART SINGS
andrea
18Oct
THE COUNT.
Juggling things, yet not feeling much of a straint as i should yeeks me out.
Grateful that God took all this stress and everything off my shoulders, to be able to go about the hectic and full-on load of church stuff, yet still enjoy what I do for Him without feeling as much as an ounce of pinch on my skin.
Yes, I won't deny the number of times I've been sleeping in til late recently as a result of running around too much, but as I worry now and then that I may not be able to soak in all that excessive flow of information as I study and think of my net, my responsibilities, my commitments to school, to home, to my CW kids, to my friends outside, tuition stuff and other nitty gritty stuff...Somehow this unexplanable peace just resides within my soul.
Just awhile ago in the car, as i tuned in to BBC, coincidentally, it was a talk about teenagers and ambitiously taking on tonnes of activities which can cause burnout. I questioned if I were in that category?
Do I let go of some of the stuff which I'm doing, ( I know I'll cry, cos it'll feel like i'm letting some people go), Lord knows I don't wanna do that.
If I do, who is responsible enough to take over, to not be bias, to be impartial, to be better than what they used to be, to go at it strong, to do it willingly, to know the importance they play, NOT for man but for God alone, and to realise that its not a role that seeks empowerment or status, but a role that benefits himself/herself in spirit seeing the region grow positively?
I've made a decision for my overseas trip next year, it'll be long, as well as for missions.
Seeking God more about this decision though.
My heart is still being stirred about this 4 month hiatus from Singapore and as much as I know I'm going to love doing this, I don't want to disrupt the plans He has in store for me.
As much as I know this is going to be a very tough decision for me to make, I really do hope He'll give me a sign and right timing.
Other thoughts about some people did come to mind, but you know, eventually, my emotions are irrelevant. My heart still does sway back and forth like a pendulum, hopeless fool. As they say, time will tell huh?
Enough said, sitting for my first end year paper in a days' time and I think this is as far as my thoughts go for tonyte before hitting my books, bible and the sack.
Ever found it scary, yet enlightening to know that all you need is to have faith and trust in God? I did. Well just look at how far I've made it :) . Maybe you should change your heart and mind about who you're trusting your life with, really! xoxo♥you know you love me 11:40 PM
